Chop Stick Wars
by Crazee Canadia
Summary: During a world lunch, Yao decides that he and Kiku should have some fun like they used to. rated T for Peter's mouth. If you want a crack story, there's one right here, super duper crack! You could say it's a sequel to How Soy Sauce Is Useful In A Meeting


****Today I was sitting in the kitchen while fiddling with some chop sticks, and then I got the idea for this story – like a sequel to **_How Soy Sauce Is Useful in a Meeting _**only using chopsticks instead of soy sauce! Thus interrupting me from writing my Australia story and my one shot with Latvia in it... wha! ****Flames will be burned with green fire and murdered with a hockey stick **_And this is absolutely plotless**

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It was a lunch, not a meeting, just a lunch with the nations that were at the meeting Arthur called back whenever Yao started a food fight in the meeting room.

Thus, ended with a lot of money being paid and Kiku getting a few bucks to dry-clean his soy sauce stained outfit. It wasn't all that bad though, the food fight. Kiku shoved rice balls in Yao's face (Something he hadn't done in years).

All the nations sat quietly while waiting for one more nation to come back with their lunch before they all ate. Kiku poked at his sushi with his chop sticks before looking up at Yao, ready in case he decided to throw any more soy sauce.

He wasn't - instead he had the soy sauce tightly wrapped next to his lunch as he smiled at the other nations.

"I think he's gonna start another food fight." Tino leaned over and whispered to Berwald.

"I dun th'nk s'."

"May I say something?" Kiku asked, looking at the two next to him, "If he does start another food fight, and he stains your coat, will you make him pay like I did?"

Tino and Berwald both nodded at the Japanese man with wide eyes.

"Alright!" Alfred walked in with his hamburger, "Let's eat!"

"Uh, A-A-Alfred." Someone poked the man in the shoulder, "C-c-c-can I..."

"Matthew! There you are! Come eat with me!" Alfred dragged Matthew to his seat, leg bumping into Yao and pushing him a little bit into his lunch.

Getting a soy sauce stain on his kimono.

Kiku sniggered at the event, loud enough for the man sitting across from him to hear. Yao looked up, smirking at Kiku before saying, "Do we want to start again, aru?"

"You'll pay to get this clean." Kiku pointed his chop sticks at Yao before pointing to his shirt, "And maybe cause another –"

"What did I hear about soy sauce!" Arthur asked, dropping his fork, "Yao! No! We will not have another food fight!"

"I was saying I was going to throw it at Kiku!" Yao answered, "Alfred, by the way, got a stain on my kimono!"

"Aw, boo hoo!" Alfred answered, patting Matthew on the back. "Cry me a river build a bridge and get over it!"

Kiku sighed and went back to his food, quiet for a few minutes while the other nations around him talked before he looked back up at Yao. Said Chinese man was looking at him with a suspicious glint in his eye, holding his chop sticks and snapping them at the Japanese man like they were imitating an alligator mouth.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Yao continued to snap the chop sticks together, getting no one's annoyed attention but Kiku's. This continued until said Japanese finished his lunch.

"Well, now that you are done..." Yao said, "Remember the wars we used to have?"

"Wars?" Kiku asked, "What kind?"

Yao held his chop sticks up, "Oh, small wars no one has really heard about."

Kiku sat a second, and then smiled as he remembered what Yao was talking about. Grabbing up his chop sticks, he held them up to his face and smiled, "You are so childish."

"I know I am, but you are to for challenging me, aru."

"I thought we made it clear that you would always be the challenging one?"

"Then you are a child for accepting my challenge!"

Without any further warning, the two pushed back their chairs loudly, drawing attention to themselves from the other nations.

"Ve! They're fighting! Doitsu! Save me!"

"Hold up mates, whatcha think ya two are doin'?"

"W-w-why are they f-f-f-fighting?"

The nations watched as Kiku and Yao walked to the other side of the room, out of the way of the tables being used, holding their chop sticks like they would swords.

"What in the bloody hell is going on?"

"I think something on crack if you ask me."

Finally having room, Yao and Kiku turned to face each other, smiling and tightly holding their chop sticks.

"What... le fuck... is this?"

"I thought you were gonna say something else Francis."

The two Asians bowed to each other slowly, and then stood back up. Everyone then grabbed their lunches, placed them in their laps, and moved so they could see the show while eating.

There wasn't anything for a minute, just Kiku and Yao staring at each other.

"This is getting kinda boring..."

The two then lifted up their chop sticks to where they were above their heads, then nodded, and then Yao swung forward with his sticks, "Take that!"

Kiku swung backward, and then went forward holding the chopsticks he had out. The two swung their arms/chop sticks at each other, occasionally beating the sticks against each other like they were light sabers from Star Wars. (As Alfred said they looked like, he _was_ the one who liked that kind of stuff anyway.)

One stick hit the other stick, both Asians kept those sticks touching and above their heads as they spun around to try to hit the other in the side with the other chop stick, resulting in those sticks banging against each other. Kiku spun on his foot to face Yao, aiming to jab him in the gut with the sticks. Yao had intentions of jabbing Kiku in the chest, so that way he could knee him to the ground for an easy win.

During this time the other nations took sides, Kiku had the other Axis powers rooting for him – including Gilbert and Roderich. Yao had the Allies and Sealand on his side, other nations were still deciding who they wanted to win this sudden – but amusing battle.

"C'mon Yao! Poke his eyes out!"

"Ve! Go Nihon!"

"Yao, the gut!"

"_Remember your training Japan!_"

"_Kick his ass!_"

"Peter, language!"

"Since when do I listen to you, Jerk Arthur?"

"Since I was older then you!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Arthur and Peter stood up with their own weapons – forks and butter knifes – and started to clash them together like they were swords across the table.

If any nation wasn't amused by Kiku and Yao's fight, they surely were interested in Peter and Arthur's fight. Again, nations took sides and encouraged the nation they chose.

A few minutes later, Peter fell off the table with a loud _thud!_ and dropped his silverware as Arthur stood over him triumphantly, holding a knife out like it was a sword, "All hail England!" He cried.

No one heard him as they turned their attentions back to Kiku and Yao, who had now started to fight with one stick like it was a fencing match on a table. Yao, being a show off, fought with a hand behind his back, Kiku tried not to fall off the table by keeping Yao cornered on his end.

"Mon ami, be careful! Don't fall off!"

"Keep him on his end Kiku!"

"Be the hero Yao!"

"Knock the bastard off the table already!"

Kiku jumped forward with his chop stick out, jabbing Yao in the chest and knocking him off the table and onto the floor.

"Kiku won!"

"Yay Kiku!"

"Al'ight mate!"

"'s Y'o k?" Berwald walked over to the man lying on the floor, unconscious.

"Oh no! Yao!" Tino ran to the other side of the room, where there was one of his emergency kits that he used for Berwald was sitting.

"Yao?" Kiku asked, getting down off the table and rushing to the aid of the older man, still not responding to anyone.

"You killed him!" Alfred yelled, "Send him to a Chinese prison! He killed China!"

Ivan started to chant his freaky chant at Kiku, "You have killed my neighbor… kol kol kol… prepare to die…"

"I-I didn't mean to! He was the one who wanted to fight, I swear!" Kiku held his hands up defensively.

"Oh really?" Antonio asked, "It didn't look like it to me!"

"We used to have chop stick fights when I was little…" Kiku sniffed, "It… it was so fun! And now I killed him!" he knelt down next to the still dazed nation, "Yao… I'm sorry…" Kiku lightly kissed Yao's forehead, making Heracules and Sadiq jealous.

Kiku stood up; ready to face whatever else the other nations had to say to him before he heard Yao moaning.

"Yao?" everyone asked.

Yao looked over at Kiku, blinking a few times before fully becoming alive again. "Now that was a fun fight!" he stood up, "A champion chop stick warrior like me would be jealous of that move, Kiku."

"R-really?" Kiku asked, surprised that he actually beat Yao at a chop stick fight like he just did.

"Yup!" Yao asked, "So, what should your reward be…?"

The other nations looked at Kiku, then back at Yao while the Japanese man quickly thought of a "reward" he could get for beating the so called "chop stick warrior."

"I know!" Yao slid forward, smiling at Kiku before getting right in his face and asking, "So… I herd u leik mudkips?"

Kiku fell over from the stupidity in what Yao just said.

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****And you die from the total randomness of this story with absolutely no plot or whatever. Idk why Peter and Arthur are fighting, I just thought I'd throw it in there. And poor Tino still on the other side of the room while Yao comes back to life… anyway, I hoped you had your crack fill! I'll go type my Australia story now, bai****


End file.
